Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Silent Scream Inside

The older you get the more you realize life is passing by. If you are like many you might begin to wonder how much time you have left. Some people look at this in a realistic way while others tend to do everything they can to ignore facts. Middle aged is not fifty because no matter how much we would like to believe few people live to be one hundred and those that do have such minimal existence because they are worn out. You have to ask do you really want to last that long?

As you get older you begin to understand that you have either learned from your past or are continuing to make the same mistakes that you are so accustom to making.

Likewise, you quickly find that you are either bogged down with the “have to” or “should” lists in life or somehow you have realized the pointlessness of it all and have drifted to doing more of the things you really want to do, if you can figure out what that might be. While the movie is an older one, how many of us have our “Bucket List” and how many things have we really marked off that list? As easy as this might sound, figuring out what you might enjoy doing with your time and energy often can be a foreign concept in many respects.

A reality we all have to face is that the longer you live life the more you have numbed yourself as a natural means of protection. Broken hopes, dreams, missed opportunities and failures cause some of us to never wake up fully from the anesthetic because we ultimately fear the pain we might feel would destroy us.

Everyone I am sure at some point in their life takes an introspective look. However, after that first glance do we as individuals chart a new course? For many our imagined level of comfort that is derived from operating within our known boundaries keeps us firmly affixed, as if we were a train, that only had one set of tracks to run on.

Life, however, involves more than one direction and is made up of multiple layers of experiences and feelings. Unlike that of an onion you can never peel it all away but many times you find yourself realizing honestly how meaningless so much of what we spend our time doing actually can become.

After all we had no say in our conception. Likewise, for the vast majority of us we will have no say in our time of death. Most of us would like to believe that all that happens in between has some overall purpose. As individuals finding out that purpose can take a lifetime and for some the answer is never revealed.

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